I moved

I have changed my blog hosting around and this blog is moved to

tarverhannant.com

I have yet to figure out how to redirect this address to the new site so if you link to this blog please update your links to the new address as this is where I will be posting.

Thank you,

Drive thru church

There are a number of these types of videos floating around. As churches are embracing the arts more and more on any given Sunday, Saturday or Wednesday you can walk into a church and be “blessed” with a video illustration, if the church is serious about keeping up with the times.  Chances are that this is an illustration for a sermon of what church and the Christian life is not, and chances are that no matter how great the preacher, it was completely ineffective. Ok, maybe for a couple days.

Because I do not hide my cynicism, most people feel free to bitch about church with me. It is definitely one of my favorite topics and I don’t mind so much as long as the conversation has a hope for change. Lately I have been having a lot of conversations with people that are thinking about leaving the church they are at for greener pastures.  I will listen and most likely agree with the complaints. They normally revolve around the type of music, the environment, the feel, the cliques or the lack of the ability to engage with the presence of God.  Unless there is some sort of doctrinal disconnect or they are still in shopping mode, I refuse to encourage anyone to leave a church for a reason that has only their interest in mind.

New on the have to do list

Screw walking, I want to fly !!!

In Rainbows

Radiohead announced October 1st,on its blog, casually as if they were talking about a night at the pub, that they were releasing a new album in ten days. At first I didn’t give it much of a thought other than I was happy that I didn’t have to wait six months for the album. Yesterday, I went to the site and found out that by choosing the download option, I got to decide what this album was worth to me. Yes, I actually paid for music!

I don’t normally read too much news, which is why I just found out about this, but it has been a blast reading how people are responding to this beautiful act of vulnerability. There are two general questions that I see being raised. The first being, is it going to work, which is really, are they going to make any money? Who cares, it is clear that they want their fans to decide the value of the new album. The second being, how is this going to change the business, which is really, are middle men in the music business still going to make money? There are very few bands in a position to let their audiences decide what to pay so, yes there is still money to be made.

It is not hard for me to sit and dream, of a society that relies on each other to define value, putting aside self for others and actually believing that as I take care of others, I in turn will be taken care of. What would happen if we all followed the model that Radiohead is taking with In Rainbows and let whoever is receiving what we do dictate honestly its worth?

So what did I pay for In Rainbows?

I’ll never tell

Oh the Drunk Dial

So I got drunk dialed a while ago by an ex. It has been a good three years since we last talked and I am still not sure what to do with hearing from her. For the most part I have processed and worked through the hurt that was done in that relationship both by me and to me. Apologies were made and in all honesty I was under the impression that I would never hear from this girl again. Tara and I were in NY and the call came in at about 2:30 in the morning. I thought that I recognized the # but I wasn’t sure. We talked for a little bit and caught each other up on the major happenings over the last years and left it at that.

This late night phone call causes an array of thoughts to spur in my head. I am a person that hates to say good-bye to or end a relationship. I understand the depth of relationships will change, but to end completely OUCH. This one on the other hand needed to end. Both of us were horrible to each other but yet we could not get enough of each other either. Back and forth over the years we would never quite end it. I was talking with Tara about her; I have such a rad wife. This ex of mine is a beautiful woman with a great head on her shoulders. She is more than capable of wise decisions and does make some. She is also a woman that has been shit on more than any I know. She is strong and takes the ride of life well and is deserving of commendation.

When things change, people die or relationships end it is so important to look back at the experience and take a survey. Mostly an assessment to make sure that you are processing the termination, finding where you are hurt, reconcile that hurt and go on.

And of course I have to show off my beautiful son

beautiful-smiling-boy.jpg

The waiting game

I’ve said before that between everything with the chop and baby, this summer is pretty much a waiting game. In a matter of days baby will be here. We had a baby appointment today, and the only news we got was that everything is on track, and it should be any day now. Thanks that helps, especially with the routine questions. The main question that is getting asked constantly is, “are you ready?” I don’t know, baby isn’t here yet; I’ll let you know. I am as ready as I think I can be, Tara and I have had nine months to prepare, I think that’s good notice. I have heard all kinds of advice, some I can tell right away is, “not the way I would go about things” some I can’t tell whether it is good or bad however, baby’s not here yet, I’ll let you know. The other side of that question is the tangible side. Yes, we are ready. Baby’s room is all put together and collecting dust. We have all the clothes we need along with everything that baby and mommy require, and a little more. I think the only thing missing is a daddy with two legs, but that one is in the process of being resolved.

The hardest part about this waiting game for me is trying to do anything. I won’t go to far into it but with me being out from work so long there have been some changes. I need to make a decision of whether or not this current/new position will provide for my growing family. I’m almost to the point where I don’t think that it will, and need to make a change. However, making that decision now is hard while in this waiting game. I don’t think it looks too good with a new employer to start and a couple days in say, “my wife just had a baby and I have family in town, see you in a month.” In this process, I’m doing my best at supporting my wife. There is not much I can do for an independent pregnant woman aside from reminding her how beautiful she is, and putting lotion on her feet. So I sit, and with every cramp or moan wonder/hope to hear, “It’s time”.

ATM Parking

I’ve been in one of those moods where I am just looking for a fight, and this afternoon I just could not help myself. Stupid drivers have got to be my biggest source of frustration, aside from insurance caps. I was at a local grocer/ wannabe Wal-Mart looking for a parking spot and all the blue guys were taken. I had passed this lady a couple times looking for a spot, and I noticed that a handicap spot was opening up. I pull up to wait for it and right on my bumper is this lady again. As I pull forward she does as well, and slides into the area next to me marked full of yellow lines, that has the ramp up the to the sidewalk and is also for vans that have lifts. There is an outdoor ATM there with a long line that she quickly gets in. There were a couple other people eyeballing her and who better to let her know of her idiocy than a one legged man, since she was starring as it is.

For the sake of my Mother, I will not recite a word for word dialog, but I walked by and politely with a hint of sarcasm said, “excellent parking”. She snidely responds with a, “hey I’m just using the ATM and it’s raining” to which I respond with, “I see that, I’m glad for you that the yellow lines and blue signs mean ATM parking” that got a nice laugh from the line. I got called a nice name along with a similar response about the rain. There were some pleasantries exchanged as I provided her with the intent of yellow lines and blue signs, but she never faulted from her position that it doesn’t matter, “I’m just using the ATM and it’s raining” except with different expletives. Satisfied, and also seeing that I was obviously in the wrong I went inside, out of the rain.