OK I’m scared

So maybe not scared more anxious but I knew that this would happen, as the time got closer but I am really starting to second-guess this decision. I know that this decision is the right one and was made in sound mind. As I wrote before the closer this gets the more I not able to manage pain. That fact alone is enough right now to affirm that this is why we are doing this. To add to that my brother is here and our time is great. There is something about having someone around that you have known and loved for so long that is so comforting. Between him and Tara they really know exactly how to deal with me right now.

Everything around the house is done, changed the shower head, got the shower stool, with this heat thing that is going on we got some fans, they gave me some prescriptions for some good drugs and we pick up those, moved things around so that when I get home it is done, had to stop and get some forearm crutches that was fun. The store that we went to also sold the motorized wheelchairs so of course I had to take a test drive. Now I get the pleasure of waiting. I will definitely watch some RENT. I have about 3 hours left before I have to stop smoking for a while so I will get that in and have a couple beers. I will write again a leg off.



  1. I was just saying to Jonathan, “I wonder how Tarver is feeling right now…” so I decided to check your blog. Thanks for telling us what it feels like…we are with you in thoughts and prayers.

  2. The morning the first thing Brian mentioned, was you. You are in our thoughts and prayers, as well. We’ll see you on the other side.

  3. We love you, Tarver!

  4. Hey Tar!
    We are thinking of you. You are a great man and will handle this well. God will give you (and your family) strength! Call Dan soon cause he is thinking of you lots, wondering how you are doing, and wishing he could be there.
    All our love,

  5. Thinking and praying of both you and Tara.

    Jane (Bobs Mom)

  6. You have been on my mind all day. In my prayers.

  7. Good morning Tarv, Hey this part is now behind you!! You did it!! It is tough now but as you go through this healing process, you will learn so much about yourself and the amazing strength that God has given you and Tara. My prayer for you is that with each day the healing pain gets less and less.So much to experience and look forward too!! Baby!!! You are going to be a Daddy!!! You continue to be a pillar of strength to me , I will continue to also pray for this whole insurance issue and just how the Lord will work out all the details for a new leg!!! Love you Son!! mom

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